Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Three Vertices

Keerti and Unni were my class mates in engineering. I have seen them always sitting together in Library. The so called conventional types, I must say. Whenever I inquire about the relationship both of them give the same cliché reply, ‘Friendship’. I became very close to them during 3rd semester. Like most of my classmates, I preferred to see them as ‘the best’ couple. I knew him as a very religious person who visits temple at least once a week. He converted to vegetarianism quoting that eating non-vegetarian food leads a person to think like an animal. (Good topic for a debate :) ).

Keerti is a tough lady. I remember one incident during our college days. In the 8th semester of engineering, Unni proposed her. She responded that she too likes him but she is ready to marry him only with her parents’ agreement. I am supposed to keep this a secret.(Between you and me Shh..) She considered her parents' choice above her conscience. I somehow wished I had a sister like this.

It took 6 months for Unni to get a nice paying job whilst she was already working. He wasted no time in approaching her parents and letting them know about his affection. Her parents, like most of the village parents, said a big NO to the relationship. Caste came as a villain in their relationship. He is a Pillai & she, Nair. Even though both of them were against the caste system, she took a stand that she can’t proceed with the relationship because her parents were against it. She was not even ready to let her parents know that she is in love with Unni. According to her, letting them know is equivalent to ‘forcing’ them to accept this proposal and she never wanted to disturb her parents. This stand of her annoyed me. I had one of my biggest fights with her on that day. End of it, She stopped explaining the reason and only mentioned that 'the chapter is closed'. As a person who knows both of them very well, I took the role of a moderator and tried to convince her family. There was no outcome for that long conversation also. Later, Unni flew to middle east and I lost touch with him. As we are working in the same field, I chat with Keerti once in a while.

Last week, a relative of mine eloped with her boyfriend. My uncle and aunt were poignant about the incident. For the first time I looked at the whole episode from a parent's point of view. I strongly felt that she should've informed her parents before taking this extreme step. After seeing my Uncle's situation I was in a dilemma on ‘The correct and wrong perspective’. I phoned Keerti and apologized for the fight we had and the side I took without bearing in mind her point of view.

Keerti responded sadly, ‘No.No..You were right on that day. I regret for the wrong decision I took.'

30 comments:

Sourish Karmakar said...

dat was thoughtful...
parents caste n love are always three sides of triangle..whose vertices dont meet :)

Alameen said...

Sourish,
Agree to the core.. And thanks for that comment.. You know why :)

Cheers
Al

Endevourme said...

hey buddy! i have the same profile pic on orkut :D from taare zamin par...

Solitaire said...

Its nothing but a generation gap. Both viewpoints are correct. If only, there is a meeting point, can these types of issues be resolved. Sadly, parents have to put in more efforts to move ahead because it is hard for us to take a step backward.

Alameen said...

@endevourme,
thanks for dropping by.. The pic is a tribute to Amir.. The movie was great..

@Solitaire,
If the parents don't agree, we can understand that.. But the assumption that a person's love will hurt their parents is something which i cant agree at all. She should've informed her parents..
Thanks for dropping by.. :)

Deepti said...

Amazing post ... and thanks for dropping by .. and avery thoughtful comment from you ... keep visiting ..

silverine said...

Echo Deepti. Amazing post! And I agree with Keerthi. She had it all and let it go. What a shame. How many of us can boast of having known true love?

ursjina said...

wow..great post buddy..
it kinda makes u feel all three's dilemma ..worst part is..i stil dunno who was right...

zahid said...

Yaar....A situation where no one is right, no one is wrong either !!! But yet the worst things go over your mind and the days which you count up as one of the toughest !!!

:( Lesson learnt by me however is tha t never to leave something however !!!

Alameen said...

@Deepti,
Thanks for dropping by..

@Jina,
not all three. Unni's best friend Ameen was also in dilemma. Regarding the 'right' way, Keerti should've informed her parents so that the situation shud'nt have occured for her to regret..

@Zahid,
Dil se poocho ki ye sach hai ya nahin.. if u believe you are doing the right thing, you won't regret later...

Btw, how's your life.. when is your next date.. waiting for the updates :)

Alameen said...

@Silverine,
Agree to you.. And a comment from the 'blog Rani' is an honour :) Thanks!!

Manohar said...

good post dude.. and one thing is it always happens that we later regret what we did.. but then what weve done is what weve done.. It was nobodys fault there but i feel both parents and kids have to look at each others perspective..

sidkc said...

thanks! nice incident, have a friend in such a situation. agree that parents should be informed...

Pixilicious said...

beautiful writing.. differentiating people based on caste(or anything for that matter)is totally pointless.. i wish good luck to both your friends..

anN-series said...

hey i did something like this sometime back and thankfully my close friends thankfully stood by me...in hindsight i believe wat i did is right...nice post...

Zee said...

awwwwwwwwwwwww

Karthik said...

nice post :-)..generation gap?? lets see how long this gap stays..

JAy said...

It was a wonderful and a thoughtful post..

actually i am going thr' break up myself. I have never been this much philosophical before.. So do'nt konw whether its a good or bad sign to look at the world from such a different perspective..

do things like caste, financial status and stuff like that really matter in a relationship.. ?

guess what .. i don't really konw at this moment of time..

Deepti said...

Tagged!!! Check the rules on my blog.

| Balu | said...

I kind of sympathise with Keerthi here, because everyone else had gotten over the incident.. She became the biggest looser in the incident because she suppressed her feelings!
Unni expressed his feelings for her, her parents expressed their objection to his feeling!
But she chose to remain indifferent.. WOW... thanks mate a story with a moral to be remembered for the rest of my life =)

Alameen said...

@Manohar,
BINGO. There should always be an understanding of each other.

@Sid,
Thank you

@Pixilicious,
I will convey your regards to them :)

@Ann,
If you know that you are doing right, the situation won't come for you to regret.. Regret happens when we feel that we have done something without our conscience.

Alameen said...

@Zee,
Thanks

@Karthik,
Looks like this gap is reducing in the new generation. or am i growing up??

@Jay,
Different perspectives are always good. But, make sure that you do what you feel is right :). Even i feel that caste doesn't matter.. Then i dint want to be biased. That's why i kept the discussion open..

@Deepti,
Thank you

@Balu,
Thanks a lot for the comments. Look, Keerti had an option to go for Unni or not.. Poor Unni was helpless here, not even able to convince Keerti. In the end who won because of these systems?? I don't know

| Balu | said...

@ Al Ameen
I don't think anyone wins at any stage in life it's about not loosing anything... And Keerti hasn't gotten over her loss while everyone involved has (I am assuming this one).. of course Unni was deeply hurt then but it will easier for him to get over than for Keerti (I am assuming ths one =P )

Arun Jose Francis said...

Superb post man...

I don't want to guess why she changed her mind. It would be great if you can get that out of her mind... :-)

nishu said...

Hmmmmm. that left me silent for quite a while...sad but true

Alameen said...

@Arun,
I believe if i do something against my conscience, one day i will regret it..

Well the situation was very difficult.. Waiting for a miracle to happen in their life.

@Nishu,
Thanks for the visit mate.

ramya said...

hey nice article man! sets u thinking... but ya i always feel that one shoud listen to one's heart... ur fren should have tried convincing her parents! keep posting... u write well! was i nice atricle to read man

Alameen said...

@Ramya,
Thanks a lot for the generous comments :)

Ajith said...

great post mate...Too much of matching and weighing is done by parents and relatives to find the right match for their children. Caste, social status, taravadu, financial status, district, job, parent's job and the list will go on and on.Unfortunately they tend to forget the fact that god has created all of us with an ability to find our mates ourselves. Its a crime to supress ur natural feelings.

Alameen said...

@Ajit,
Very true. Parents think for the best options for their children.. Many a time they overlook what their son/daughter likes..

@Everyone,
Happy news.. Unni & Keerti got married recently.. Thanks for all your goodlucks and wishes..